Yesterday I had two major rejections, one right after the other.
I felt like scum.
Anyone else ever feel that way?
I was having a great day with my two little ones and then all of the sudden BAM and BAM.
I felt that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t measure up. That everyone else was better than I was. A bit dramatic but that’s just how I roll.
At the beginning of every year I typically pick out a word of the year. A few years ago I declared the year to be “No fear, New Year” and I spent the year doing things I was afraid of. In 2017, I declared my word “expectant” because I was going to watch and see what God would do. The same year we moved to Huntsville, and we certainly saw God move. Last year, I declared my word “discipline”. I wanted to spend the year getting our home in order, and myself as well.
At the beginning of this year I couldn’t land on just a word. There was a phrase I couldn’t get out of my head. It’s found in Philippians 3. It says at the end of verse 8 , “that I may gain Christ and be found in Him”.
“THAT I MAY GAIN CHRIST AND BE FOUND IN HIM” PHILIPPIANS 3:8-9
As I was driving down the road this verse popped into my head. It was a quick reminder that my ability to produce and perform does not change the way the Lord feels about me. I can stand firm on the rock of my salvation which is unmovable. I made the decision that I wasn’t going to allow my feelings in the moment to dictate the truth God says about me. I began to recite scripture out loud with each verse with more fervor and believing it with everything I had.
“I am one of God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.” Colossians 3:12
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4
By the time I started reciting Psalm 103, both of my kids thought I was crazy, but I kept on anyway.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles…
Here’s the thing. The offense didn’t change. No one called me back and apologized or said they changed their mind, but my attitude changed.
I decided instead of wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for myself over the next several days I would chose to stand on God’s promises.
I would encourage you that if you are going through a difficult season, or even a difficult day not to let your circumstances or emotions get the best of you. Stand on the truth of God’s word.
A few things that always help me when I’m struggling in a moment…
Jeremiah 23:29 says, “Is my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?
I’ve always heard it described as being similar to depositing money in the bank. You deposit scripture in your mind. It’s amazing how much comes to you at just the right moment when you need it. If you don’t know where to begin, start with Psalm 103, one of my personal favorites.
Singing hymns/worship songs
When I was struggling so much yesterday with my value, I turned on worship music and the kids and I both sang to the top of our lungs. It’s a good reminder that this world is not all about us and we PRAISE the ONE it is about.
I know this seems so obvious, but honestly I should have listed it first. Hebrews 4 tells us “let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need”.
Find your people.
There are some people who just encourage you in the faith. Hebrews 10:24 says, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works”. The Lord was so faithful yesterday because right about the time this happened a friend texted and asked if we wanted to go grab dinner. God was so kind in his timing because these were just the people I needed to be around at the time I needed to be around them.
If you are in Christ you have the enormous blessing of knowing Him as your Savior and Lord and there is absolutely nothing better than that.
Because the book of Philippians has been pulling at my heart strings lately I leave you with this.
“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. ” Philippians 3:8